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Conference bingo card generator

[insert_php]
$statements = array (
‘Question is completely about speaker\’s own project’,
‘”The outline of my dissertation is…”‘,
‘Conference swag/free shit’,
‘Inappropriate anything at gala dinner’,
‘Actual paper only loosely connected with title/abstract.’,
‘Clash of the academic alpha males’,
‘Conference scheduled for predictably inhospitable climate’,
‘Popular academic is scheduled in a tiny room’,
‘Food issues. Any and all.’,
‘”Sorry if you can\’t read this at the back”.’,
‘Clip art’,
‘No research reported; \’presentation\’ effectively aims at eliciting ideas from audience.’,
‘”this is less of a question and more of a comment…”‘,
‘Teaching panel that doesn\’t offer practical ideas’,
‘Prezi’,
‘Skiving a session’,
‘Plenary speaker has too many slides’,
‘Long winded debate between two people with no room for anyone else’,
‘Plenary is Nth permutation of paper toured over the last two years.’,
‘Lecherous academic’,
‘”metaphor for the academy”‘,
‘Conference programme is too themed to the conference’,
‘Change of programme’,
‘Someone shows up visibly hungover’,
‘Skiving the entire morning/afternoon’,
‘Presentation in large lecture theatre attracts <15.’,
‘Livetweeting’,
‘Postgraduate student desperately working’,
‘Alcohol reception’,
‘Conference theme is curiously absent from the programme’,
‘Starstruck postgraduate’,
‘Reading pre-written paper word for word’,
‘Misspelled name on conference tag.’,
‘Inexplicable room change’,
‘”I only finished these slides last night/this morning…”‘,
‘Poorly formatted abstract book’,
‘Blatant bias towards/against institutional colleagues’,
‘Gratuitous and unnecessary use of French critical theory’,
‘Obtuse handouts’,
‘Conference coffee breaches Geneva Conventions’,
‘Leading academic skives entire day’,
‘Five minute summary of academic\’s own research interests to foreground a semirelevant question’,
‘Extensive use of buzzwords’,
‘”Thank you, I enjoyed your talk very much”. Proceeds to utterly destroy talk’,
‘Awkward presessional silence’,
‘Alcohol reception with insufficient alcohol’,
‘Software/database demo goes wrong’,
‘Horrifying gender ratio’,
‘Unseemly jostling for a power socket’,
‘”in a longer/earlier/different version of this…”‘,
‘Rushing through the last section of a presentation’,
‘Self-citation’,
‘Unnecessary rhetorical flourishes’,
‘Death by Powerpoint’,
‘Snoozing academic’,
‘Ignoring the chair\’s increasingly forceful gestures to stop speaking’,
‘Presenter really proud for having reinvented the wheel’,
‘”XYZ doesn\’t really need an introduction…” for plenary speaker’,
‘Plenary speaker pushing their own theory in a patronising way’,
‘Chair purposefully mispronounces speaker\’s name’,
‘Wondering if the person asking presenter to show slide X again is Reviewer 2’,
‘Pie chart’,
‘Unrealistic number of slides’,
‘”I\’ll try to be brief”‘,
‘Talk feedback turns into panel session’,
‘Wifi issues. Any and all’,
‘Overenthusiastic airconditioning’,
‘Overenthusiastic heating’,
‘Fire drill during first session of the day’,
‘Presenter insists on being first on the panel then leaves immediately following their paper’,
‘Fellow presenter takes drink from your water glass’,
‘Parallel sessions take place four storeys apart’,
‘Infomercial masquerading as panel presentation’,
‘#ConferenceHashtag’,
‘Visa problems. Any and all’,
‘Presenter doesn\’t show up’,
‘Weak chairing means that last speaker of four, who has travelled furthest to get there, gets 5 mins instead of 20’,
‘”Anybody got a DVI to VGA adaptor for my Mac?”‘,
‘Special conference room rate is higher than the one on Tripadvisor’,
‘Simultaneous presentations at different parallel sessions have a more coherent theme than do the sessions’,
‘Session on accessibility in completely inaccessible room’,
‘Social evening inexplicably at opposite end of the city’,
‘Accessibility issues. Any and all’,
‘Conference held over major holiday when hotel costs soar’,
‘All plenary speakers are male’,
‘”Sorry, I\’m a Mac [or PC] person” said by the presenter who can\’t get slideshow working’,
‘Mailing list/Twitter spat becomes offline spat’,
‘Undergrad help is not quite sure what the hell they\’re witnessing’,
‘Seasoned academic asks junior presenter a mercy question’,
‘Frantic postgrad helper sprints through audience with radio mic’,
‘Poster assembled as a collage of A4 printouts’,
‘”The next conference will be in [highly desirable holiday location]”‘,
‘Every bullet. On every slide. Flies in. Separately.’,
‘Chair & speaker is the same person with predictable results’,
‘Conference materials are shipped into the conference. Conference materials are identified as a bomb threat’,
‘Mansplaining’,
‘Microphone feedback’,
‘Presenter refuses a mic. Proceeds to mumble their way through presentation’,
‘Name-dropping’,
‘Presenter\’s phone goes off’,
‘Chair\’s phone goes off’,
‘Inclusion of an internet meme in slides’,
‘Sitting there, being plagiarised to your face’,
);

?>


aka “cross disciplinary academic social engagement through interactive media!” (thanks Lizzie Reed)

Don’t like this card? Click “refresh” to generate another.

Interested in why we made Conference Bingo in the first place? Here’s a post reflecting on it

Suggestions? Leave a comment or email bingo (at) mixosaurus (dot) co (dot) uk

‘;

for ($j = 0 ; $j < 5; $j++) { do { $x = rand(0, count($statements)-1); } while (in_array($x, $used)); $used[] = $x; echo '

‘;

$stylish = !$stylish;
}

echo ‘

‘;

}

[/insert_php]


, ($i == 2 && $j == 2 ? ‘FREE SQUARE’ : $statements[$x])
, ‘

By Kat Gupta and Heather Froehlich

Contributions from Costas Gabrielatos, Oliver Mason, Sara Palmer, Jessica Lewis-Turner, Gabrielle Anderson, Emily Sherwood, Vim, ironed_orchid, Veronika Koller, AJ, Jen Youflector, Leonie W, Joe McVeigh, Bob Durrant, Liz C and Matt Larose

Script by Andrew Hardie

33 Comments

  1. Presenter really proud for having reinvented the wheel.

  2. Veronika Koller

    “XYZ doesn’t really need an introduction…” for plenary speaker

  3. Veronika Koller

    Plenary speaker pushing their own theory in a patronising way

  4. Chair purposefully mispronounces speaker’s name.

  5. Wondering if the person asking presenter to show slide X again is Reviewer 2.

  6. Massive over-representation of white men

  7. Jen Youflector

    (1) panelists blatantly laugh at audience question, wink at other panel members whose work they refer to in answer to said question; (2) infomercial masquerading as panel presentation

  8. Fire drill during first session of the day

  9. Presenter realises that results are unconvincing, but is sure it has to do with the categorisation or terminology, not the approach.

  10. Pingback: Conference bingo v2 - mixosaurus

  11. Do we already have something about the AV/wifi tragically not working?

    Fellow presenter takes drink from your water glass?

    Presenter insists on being first on the panel, then leaves immediately following their paper?

    Grad student is too hipster to write paper so just freestyles their presentation badly while everyone writhes in secondhand embarrassment?

  12. Someone tells you the “conference hashtag”. Adapted it for use in Canada (with a link to your original) and posted it at http://guerillaacademy.blogspot.ca

  13. Prallel sessions take place four storeys apart.

  14. Pingback: Conference bingo | The Research Companion

  15. Some/none of the presenters show up (possibly due to visa problems)

  16. Bingo updated! Thanks for your contributions everyone – keep them coming!

  17. Question that is not a question, but aims at self-promotion.

  18. Weak chairing means that last speaker of four, who has travelled 3000 miles to get there, gets 5 mins instead of 20.

  19. Anybody got a DVI to VGA adaptor for my Mac?

  20. Special conference room rate is higher than the one on Tripadvisor

  21. Simultaneous presentations at different parallel sessions have a more coherent theme than do the sessions

  22. Session on accessibility in completely inaccessible room

  23. Social evening inexplicably at opposite end of the city

  24. Pingback: A Little Bit of Serious Fun | Anthony Teacher.com

  25. Holds conference over Valentines Day weekend when hotel costs soar.

  26. Updated again! If you’d like to suggest something, you can post here or email bingo (at) mixosaurus.co.uk

  27. Sitting there, being plagiarised to your face.

  28. Pingback: Reflecting on a year and a half of Conference Bingo - mixosaurus

  29. Chair/other presenter(s)/audience falls asleep

  30. Pingback: Academic Conference Bingo Card #mylifeiscomplete | Marc Hudson

  31. Pingback: Conference etiquette 101: The question that is not a question… – rebeccajacksonlinguistblog

  32. Pingback: How I have Conferenced – Student to Scientist

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